The work year started on a bad note. The printer stopped responding after 3 prints, the toilet started overflowing after a 2 week break, and my computer nearly couldn't start up this morning when I got to office. Methinks everything is feeling a bit rusty and trying to get back in the groove, same with me and my body, it was a bit of a torture waking up this morning for work. :P
On a better note, I managed to repair the toilet all by myself! I made a call to the plumber but he was busy on a job and told me I had to wait till next week. I decided to dig into the cistern and took out some items which were the apparent cause of the overflowing. I brought them to the hardware stall and found out I could replace the whole cistern fill valve myself...if I could just remove the existing one rooted inside. Determined to get it accomplished and save time and money, I heaved and hauled, trying to unscrew the ridiculously tight plastic screw at the base of the existing cistern valve (after all, it has been there for years!). In the end, I realised that the proper way for a plumber to do repairs is to remove the entire cistern and lay it flat on the ground. Droplets of sweat later, I had a new cistern fill valve and a well-working toilet again! Total cost = $23.50 including one pair of pliers. Ureshii!
The work year started on a bad note. The printer stopped responding after 3 prints, the toilet started overflowing after a 2 week break, and my computer nearly couldn't start up this morning when I got to office. Methinks everything is feeling a bit rusty and trying to get back in the groove, same with me and my body, it was a bit of a torture waking up this morning for work. :P
On a better note, I managed to repair the toilet all by myself! I made a call to the plumber but he was busy on a job and told me I had to wait till next week. I decided to dig into the cistern and took out some items which were the apparent cause of the overflowing. I brought them to the hardware stall and found out I could replace the whole cistern fill valve myself...if I could just remove the existing one rooted inside. Determined to get it accomplished and save time and money, I heaved and hauled, trying to unscrew the ridiculously tight plastic screw at the base of the existing cistern valve (after all, it has been there for years!). In the end, I realised that the proper way for a plumber to do repairs is to remove the entire cistern and lay it flat on the ground. Droplets of sweat later, I had a new cistern fill valve and a well-working toilet again! Total cost = $23.50 including one pair of pliers. Ureshii!
All around me nowadays are anecdotes of marriage. Strange coincidence? Or is He trying to tell me something? Today at church, the preacher mentioned that marriage is not a contract but a commitment. The sermon topic today was not one of marriage, but this short note suddenly came in. I might be over-analyzing and being too sensitive, but it is true, marriage is something that two people commit to and then work at for the rest of their lives. It is not a contract they can break and get out of. After all, what God put together, man must not divide. I guess it's easy for most people nowadays to view marriage as just a piece of paper. After all, if they lived perfectly fine together in the same house, what need is there to go that one step further on the level of commitment they have to each other. Perhaps it can be viewed that if the scenario was like that, then if they were to take the step towards marriage, it should taken with utmost reverence and importance. I always find it funny that in times of anger and frustration, we humans who are married forget the words we said when we got hitched - "...for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part..." Having financial difficulties or dealing with sickness and ailments are both not easy things to do, and many do bail out if they happen. Also, as with contracts, many do think if the one they are currently in do not fulfill their expectations and level of commitment, it is fair for them to think of contingency plans. After all, the long-term is at stake here, and perhaps there's something more promising elsewhere. This could be likened to the contract the Singapore government has with Las Vegas Sands. With Sands' big boss in financial difficulty at the moment, the Sg government has searched out previous bidders to cushion the shock should the project be stalled or delayed. The long-term is of course the goal, and if Sands' in trouble, maybe there will be someone else more suited to take its place. Whilst I do not think Sands will give up so easily, I believe married couples facing problems should do likewise. Commitment is key, and working out the issues should be more important than breaking their "binding contract".
i was at a lovely wedding today. Held in a fairly modern church with basement parking and elevator music in the toilet, the service was fun, fresh and all about family and friends. The bride and groom seemed so in love, although most couples do at their wedding, and read out lovely thank yous to friends, family and parents. There was even a surprise performance by the bride for the groom, who was very taken aback but pleasantly surprised. She did a song by Faye Wong, one of his all-time favourites, although she admitted mandarin is her Achilles heel.
There were also some simple and yet powerful messages from the pastor's short sermon. Not that I was taking notes, but because I am in the business of contributing to couples' big step in life, I always find it so meaningful to remember the fundamentals of this all-important institution called marriage. Here are his tips for a wonderful life together.
1. Loving unreservedly
2. Giving up your rights, privileges and freedom and putting someone else in priority
3. Making sacrifices like how Jesus sacrificed Himself for us
4. Doing things first and not waiting for the other party to do what you want him/her to do before you make your move.
5. Changing yourself before expecting the other person to change.
6. If you run out of love for your spouse, ask God to give you that love, and the ability to keep loving.
I hope you might find this insightful.
I don't presume to know everything there is to a long term relationship or even a marriage, after all it is a lifelong process. But as an ode to women everywhere, I shall pen my thoughts about relationships, garnered through 10 years of learning and growing with kimmy, and from what I have seen from relationships around me.
1. Perfection
Many women have an idea of the perfect man and maybe the perfect life they will have if they met this perfect man. The reality is, there is no perfect man and no perfect relationship. It's a cliche to say this, but it's really just in your mind. You will probably have to lower your standards on certain things and make certain compromises, but at the end of it all, despite flaws and problems, you will feel that the man you are with is perfect for you, but he is not perfect. I find that having someone who complements you in certain ways would be most desirable. He might hate beef and cheese, but that means you get more of that to eat, even though it means you can't share the same love and joy in it. Appreciating the differences in someone will make it less frustrating in your search for that someone who is perfect for you.
2. Change
Some women think they can change the flaws in their man after marriage, or after they get into a commitment with each other. Women these days are strong, opinionated, go-getter types, who excel in their work and thus, they might treat their man as a "project" they can work on. Truth is, most times, men are impossible to change. There will be unusual and rare circumstances in which men change their habits for the "better", but to expect this is bad too, it might let you down. If it does happen, you will be pleasantly surprised. If not, live with it!
3. Great Expectations
Having high expectations are the worst thing that can happen to anyone. Many times, couples face immense difficulty in their relationships because of pre-conceived notions of how they wanted their partner to be like in their day to day life. It could be something small like lifting up the toilet seat or buying presents for each other, to something big like sex 5 times a week and earning a certain amount of money for the family. In most cases, unsaid expectations and feelings of disappointment will lead to arguments and disagreements. The solution to this would be to re-evaluate your expectations of your partner and also to have open, honest communication - see the next point.
4. Open to talk
As many have said before, good honest conversation is the key to a rock solid relationship. Don't keep secrets, don't harbour grudges, don't keep your thoughts to yourself. If you talked it out and expressed your feelings, chances are you'd realise your partner is going through the same sentiments as you are. Many men, i know, do not express themselves very well. Although this is a character trait that might never change, I encourage women to help their men open up and say how they feel. Remember to do it in a calm and relaxed manner, defensive tones and shrill voices will only serve to clam them up.
5. Living Conditions
If you do decide to get married or to get into a committed relationship, it would be best to live together. Whilst i know in our society how hard it is for people to accept cohabiting, it is a key factor in growing a relationship to greater heights. Living together brings about a whole new set of challenges and tests. Some people while great apart, might not fare so well when brought together under the same roof. A lot of understanding and compromises are required. Not only that, living together also requires some amount of responsibility to each other. You will need to encourage yourself and each other to work things out as well, as opposed to being apart and leading individual lives.
6. Compromise and Sacrifice
This is never easy for most people. Society tells us to be our own person, to strive for individuality. The terms "compromise" and "sacrifice" might even be seen as antiquated terms most heard of in our parents' time. They may seem like "bad words" to you now, but to achieve a long lasting relationship, it is integral you embrace these terms as part of your mindset. Many think that to compromise they are losing a part of their identity, and they will be miserable forever. It takes two hands to clap. If both hands had to "lose a part" of each of themselves, who knows, it might prove to bring them closer and happier?
7. Family and Friends
We watch movies and dramas, Romeo and Juliet, and all the great love stories of forbidden love. Two people deeply in love with each other elope despite objections from each other's parents and they live happily ever after. NOT. It would possibly be ok if you wanted to severe ties with the ones closest to you. If not, it is very important that you integrate your family and friends into your relationship. It would definitely be easier for your relationship, but that aside, it is the ones closest to us who help shape our lives as well. I have seen instances where one party looks in disdain at the other's family, and as such, it became a recurring issue, cropping up often, maybe even every year when Christmas and New Year comes, as those are often family events requiring both to appear together as events.
8. Same Old Routine
Relationships are not like dogs. We cannot always do the same thing over and over and still feel happy about it. Many couples get into a "rut" after some years of being together and it silently gets into their system, making them irritable or bored. They might take it out on each other, blaming the other party for being the cause of it. Always remember that relationships have to be worked at, and even persevered. Take time to do new things together, not apart for fear of drifting away. Having individual hobbies is fine but ultimately you must make effort to spend time together, quality time, and not just having sex.
9. Sexy Time
Sex can get boring after awhile. Nobody has exciting sex 24/7 for 50 years at a go, not even the hottest celebrities with the hottest boyfriends or girlfriends. Many couples think that once the spark is gone, and they don't feel so great about the sex, then they should part ways. They might find excitement in new partners, but ultimately it might come back to square one again. Sure, sex is important, but you must learn to engage your mind as well, and your emotional and spiritual side. Sex with many factors thrown in might even be more explosive than just enjoying the physical pleasure. If all else fails, feel free to explore in the bedroom, talk about your fantasies and desires, role-play, be creative.
10. Tempt Me Tempt Me Not
Never put yourself in temptation's way. Some people feel they are very strong, and their love for their partner, however tested, will never waver. These people are most probably the ones who will fall the fastest. If you put yourself in a situation that compromises your fidelity, it could possibly be your downfall. I'm not saying we should take the easy way out and systematically remove all potential temptations in our lives. That would help tons, but what would help even more is to be aware of the fact that it is easy to fall. When you are aware of it, you will be aware of your feelings to your partner as well, and you will consider carefully first, before you put yourself in certain situations.
As the 3rd year of my marriage passes, i think again about my wedding vows, and whether I have made any progress or learnt anything in the past year. I remember my first wedding anniversary. As a sweet gesture, kimmy surprised me with flowers which he ordered and had them sent to my office. I didn't expect that and was pleasantly surprised. What I expected though, I did not get, and the night escalated into a huge quarrel when it could have been a nice time reliving our union.
On hindsight, I feel embarrassed for the things I did and expected. Perhaps it was due to a friend getting presents every month, perhaps it was my dream of an ideal marriage, perhaps I was just making excuses for myself. Kimmy is one who will almost never buy anything pretty and expensive for me. I can yearn for bling and bags but the flowers were a wonderful gesture and I couldn't have asked for more. He is also one who does not enjoy expensive meals under candlelight and my demands for a (cookie cutter) "romantic night out" made him feel uncomfortable and awkward. At the end of the night, he was being snappish and I was very dismayed, thinking "what crap have I got myself into?"
The first year in a marriage is always the hardest I reckon. Some people say it's the honeymoon period. Maybe it's because of "those people" that women like me cling on to our ideals and expectations, thinking our marriage would be our bed of roses. Sometimes, we even think we can change our men to be something more pleasing for us, our marriage and our eyes. Alas, in most instances, it is very difficult. Back then, I wished Kimmy was hunky and sporty and exude "maleness" from his pores. "Wished" is the operative word. It's not that I don't wish if he's hunky and sporty anymore, but that I now see his "maleness" in other forms. It might not be a physical maleness, but I have looked carefully and I have realised I have been a tad bit shallow, and he is man to me in other ways.
There are so many examples I could mention regarding my re-alignment of perceptions and expectations but i'm sure you get the drift. Every marriage is hard, and sometimes the first is even harder. When something doesn't go your way, it is so easy to turn to the nearest strong shoulder to cry on, to turn your back and say goodbye, to give up and say you made a mistake. If you do decide on the difficult path though, you will have to make a great effort, a momentous decision. I said my vows for a reason, I decided and I will persevere. But then, I've never been one to give up so easily, I know I am stronger than that.
And this year, he very sweetly bought me a perfume I had been hankering for, as a surprise. aww... =)
I have learned in my years in advertising that it is not uncommon to attach fancy titles like "New York" or "Paris" or "established 1888" to your brand so as to achieve a certain feel and perception in your desired audience. Of course, the credibility in naming your brand in such a way lies in your story and rationale behind it, whether it is real and true, or just a marketing ploy.
Recently, the store Club Marc New York has sprung up around town. They have a huge store in Vivocity and have opened one in Marina Square as well. I've never been enticed to enter the store, being biased against the red and black colour scheme of their logo and signage (very 80s). However, having run out of stores to browse yesterday, I wandered into the Marina Square outlet for a quick look.
At first glance, Club Marc seems polished and edgy, and with surprisingly low prices. If they were really from New York, those prices in USD would have been dirt cheap walmart buys. I was puzzled, a bit pleased, no harm having more cheap and good boutiques in town. The cheap sat well with me, but the good I had to disagree. Many clothes came in bright neon colours this season - lime green and psychaedelic pink (??) - and most of the ladies tops seemed a bit "short" in height. I had the impression they would end at my waist, and I certainly do not want to make my torso look shorter than it already is.
I decided to do my research. What store claims to be from the big apple when the tops looked like they were from HK, size wise, design wise. The Club Marc website was bad. The layout isn't great and the english throws you off a bit. Classic examples include " EVOLUTED TO A NEW FAST FASHION RETAILER" (isn't it evolved?) and "NEW FASHION STLYINGS" (what's a styling, and spelling error at that) -- Do feel free to surf to their website for more grammatical faux pas.
Another juicy tidbit i found out is that the website says the company was established in NYC in 1999 but alas, they have no stores in NYC at the moment, because they are "opening soon". They have an "R&D Center" in NYC though. What is there to R&D about for clothes? Their global HQ is in Singapore and all their stores are here. And they have a long list of countries on their store locator page but I'd bet all except one says "no stores at the moment". I guess the founder is very optimistic, looking to expand into every country in the world.
So...I gather this is a classic case of "fancy titling" in branding and image-building. After reading their website, I find a stronger resolve in me to not purchase anything from them or visit their store again. Such a pity, they turned out to be an empty shell with no substance, and no nice clothes.
i am utterly dismayed by my lack of cooking skills and consistency standards. Today is our wedding anniversary and since kimmy was working, we decided to stay home for dinner instead of going out. i rushed to the supermarket after work to grab my ingredients and back home to cook. alas, in a hurry, everything ended up under par. The roasted broccoli and capsicums tasted a tad bit salty to me, whilst his chicken chop, which i thought would be delicious because of bbq sauce, ended up a bit bland. My cod fillet was strange, (I then remembered cod steaks had a nicer texture as compared to the fillet), and my scallops were juicy but too salty. There were also baked beans which kimmy complained were lousy because it was AYAM BRAND, and a small side of spaghetti aglio olio which i liked but he said was too oily. The highlight of the night came from a can of campbell's corn soup, thank goodness for that.
To cap of the evening, we indulged in kettle honey dijon chips...not that great an idea, it turned out like an anti-climax, nice while it lasted, but gave a terrible aftermath. :(
After dinner I watched Amazing Race Asia where the contestants had to eat a huge bowl of smelly tou fu. They felt terrible, I felt terrible, and I wanted to throw up like they were.
as I write this, i feel the urge to puke again. :(
i find that i always question my preference between quality and efficiency. these two almost never go hand in hand, especially in popular eateries across town. I was at Sushi tei twice last week. At the china square outlet on a lazy thursday afternoon, i was attended to promptly and was served the freshest of foods with suitably filling portions. Needless to say, it made me very happy indeed. However, at the Paragon outlet on Sunday evening, when it was full house with hungry patrons, I didn't experience the same kind of happiness. Firstly I had to wait 20mins for a table, and then, wave frantically to catch the staffs' attention, and finally when the food arrived, they were lacklustre. The same dishes I had ordered previously on Thursday were substandard, cold (or warm in the case of sushi), rice was a bit squishy and fried items weren't crispy. Sure I could have complained, but one look at the kitchen and you knew they were unable to cope with overwhelming demand, hence the quality failure.
I know I am not paying premium prices so should not expect the highest of high standards from Sushi Tei. However, is it acceptable that whilst I know they are capable of good quality food, I should lower my expectations due to peak hour circumstances? After all, if I was to ask for good quality food at peak hour, I would probably have to wait 1 hour more for my table, and perhaps another 1 hour for my meal.
the world is in turmoil...from economic problems in the US to recession in many countries including Japan, from the political power struggle in Malaysia to the protestors who have camped out in Thailand's government house for months.
will we see the light to the end of this tunnel?? stay tuned....
http://blogs.straitstimes.com/2008/9/2/clash-of-the-thai-tans
an interesting read from "ground zero" itself by a reporter who happened to be in bangkok at the time of the protests.
http://blogs.straitstimes.com/2008/9/1/what-table-manners
Found this article about a reporter going "undercover" to find out what makes people tick in food courts. I am happy that I do not make irritating "tsk" sounds, I do not kick trolleys, and I do say "xie xie" when the cleaner cleans up the table for me. I do not stand close to tables waiting for them to finish as well, but because of the whole waiting game, I actually detest dining at food courts. Sometimes, the queue at certain restaurants is welcoming, even at the slightly higher costs.
The Singapore Kindness Movement (SKM) reckons that it would take many years for Singaporeans to become a more gracious people. Methinks it might take a generation, or even two. To be fair, I must express that the society here in general lacks good social habits, not just the locals, but the foreigners working here as well. Some examples the SKM cited include not clearing one's trays at food courts, and not standing on the left side of escalators at train stations. There was even a contest by class95 asking listeners to send in videos of what they thought were our worst habits. For me, my pet peeve is the hordes of commuters every morning and evening trying to squeeze into the trains, and in the process, hindering others who are trying to alight. I often watch in amusement, as 5 people try to get in, while 5 people try to get out. Nobody seems to mind banging and pushing roughly into each other, a situation which can be easily avoidable if everyone just queued at what they were doing. In Chinatown, we still have elderly folks spitting on the floor just inches from your feet. Sometimes there are people eating in the train station, dropping their crumbs all over. Heck, there are even people who don't queue at public toilets, pushing their way to the front to grab the first empty cubicle. This is akin to stealing a carpark lot from someone who had been waiting nearby for ages. Our service industry is sorely lacking as well. There are only a handful of eateries with friendly, polite and helpful staff. Many have rude and unhelpful servers, some with the look of death on their faces, some with a perpetual black cloud above their heads, and there're even those who have mastered a magician's disappearing act. I guess more training is needed to raise the standard of service. And perhaps service staff shoud be encouraged to take intiative and make snappy decisions. I wonder how good social graces are brought about. Is it something taught by our parents as we are growing up? Or is it subconsciously rubbed off from one nice person to another? I believe the younger generation now is faring as badly as the many before them. They seem brought up spoilt and self-centred, without civic mindedness or social etiquette. Of course this is all broadly speaking, sweeping statements if you may. I will try my best, i just hope everyone will too.
Singaporeans love their food, and this is made more evident to me as I chat with my friends who are living and working around the world. They are miles away but the one thing that never fails to tie them back to this little island is their desire to experience the best food that the world has to offer. From a friend in New York City who searches out lunch deals at michelin starred restaurants, to a newlywed on her honeymoon frantically jotting down in her diary the amazing tastes of europe that tantalise her palate, to a friend in Canada who misses the simple flavours of mee siam and mee rebus. Ahh, the amazing Singaporean palate, who eats well, tastes well and travels far. There are cultures who love their food, and there are cultures that REALLY love their food.
Here's to Singaporeans everywhere, despite the distance, despite our differences, we will always bond through our love of food.
i am deflated, dejected and defeated. i always try my best to make good food for kimmy but he never appreciates any of it. Perhaps he's appreciative of my effort but whatever I make is always greeted by complaints of dislike.
I made pork with sage today. According to Gordon Ramsay, pork tastes great with sage and lemon zest. I tried my best, and I even made sides of mashed potatoes and roasted peppers and zucchini. All this in under an hour, while he was napping. Add to it a full day at work, rushing off to the supermarket at 7 to grab the items, and taking the train back in record time.
I understand kimmy's extremely fussy palate, something he subconsciously picked up from his dad (obviously) who doesn't eat anything except chinese food, and he's been eating that his whole life. I don't cook beef, buy cheese or do anything that's creamy. But whenever I make the same dishes like roasted vegetables and chicken chop, he complains I'm always cooking the same thing, and dismissing me as an inexperienced cook. Today I made something different, and my dishes got dismissed as weird tasting and bad. I dunno how to satisfy him. I cannot cook the same dishes as his mother and I never will. I cannot cook like a masterchef, and I don't want to cook the same dishes that he likes every single day. I cannot bring myself to "tabao" or eat out everyday too, although that seems to suit him fine, but that's not healthy to me.
I feel so sad. He's a great guy, and I doubt I can find someone else as nice as him. But he makes life so difficult for me sometimes, in a way that other women don't have to worry about, and which I envy. Everyone has their peeves about their partners I know, it's just depressing that it's a constant struggle to have to learn to live with it. There is a saying that women often think they can change their husbands after they marry them. Am I in a similar situation?
 My mom bought a lovely plastic house for the baby rabbits. Incredibly, they can all squeeze in at the same time. I love how their cage looks like a little playground now with the green mat which coincidentally looks like grass. Looking at them happily playing and eating in their home, you wouldn't suspect that all 3 of them are suffering from injuries at the moment. Speaking of fun, the swimmers in Beijing are making the water cube their playground, rewriting world and olympic records at an astounding rate. Heat after heat, we're not even talking about finals here, records are smashed and fans are screaming. It makes a truly fun time for us viewers around the world. It's fun for the spectators too although apparently, most of them are volunteers who were given free tickets because there were too many empty spaces showing up on TV and it was getting quite embarrassing for the organisers.
 my mother's first rabbit, fond, is gone. He was given by my grandfather to the laundromat near his home. The reason why he was at my grandparents' was because he was constantly trying to kill his son and my mom got so fed-up that she brought Fond over to stay with Fudge, his dad. I know it sounds all complicated but this is possibly the most summarized version of the story, without sounding too draggy with details. Fond was a delightful rabbit. He's active and docile. My mom used to love him so much, taking photos with him and letting him run all over the house. His ugly head reared when Glo, his wife, gave birth to Chubby, his son. When Chubby reached puberty, Fond felt the need to get rid of the "competition". As you know, male animals always have the need to dominate the pack. He tried to kill Chubby many times, and Chubby has had his fair share of scares and scars. Fond also developed a tendency to get very jittery during feeding times and bit my mom a few times, once even causing a very deep cut. I kinda miss Fond, i dunno where he's living now, and I do hope he's with a family who loves him and friends he can adore. As for some of the other rabbits who were adopted, I hope they are with families who love them as well. There was one who got adopted by a neighborhood friend, whose neighbors complained about the smell, and he had to be put up for adoption again. I hope he gets a good home. The baby rabbits currently with my mother deserve good homes too. They are not feeling hunky dory at the moment though, I reckon. Two of them got bitten on their noses by their grandmother when they tried to be friendly, and one of them jumped off the sofa and injured her foot. She's kinda limping now, I do hope she heals well. I truly love the pets, and i don't understand why my grandfather has no tolerance for them. He's so cold. It affects me a great deal when humans have no compassion for the less frail and fragile. It hurts me too that baby rabbits are injured. They don't seem to be in pain, but rabbits often internalise their pain, which causes great stress. To compensate I tried to give them more to eat. But it could just be a conscience-calming act on my part.
 it was a dream to watch the opening ceremony of the beijing olympics. Kimmy initially thought it would just be much dancing, costumes and cultural performances, sort of like National Day here every year. But no, leave it to the Chinese to knock the socks off anyone who's ever done an opening ceremony. I guess it's characteristic of Chinese people to strive to "win" in whatever they do. And with that amount of people and talent in a country with a few billion people....there's nothing left to your imagination. From amazing massive scrolls unfurling across the ground, to brush-painting humans, to images running along the inside of the stadium, and the incredible fireworks, it was breathtaking to say the least.  If you did not catch it, you would have missed out on one of the most impressive performances of all time.
| |
